What are you so mad about?

"I’ma tell you why I’m so mad. They making five hundred thousand dollar videos, riding around in hot cars. I’m still livin’ with my moms know what I’m sayin?"

You know what you need. A top 7 list. Why? Because for some reason I forgot (my mind is usual like a steel cage if you ignore the multiple concussions and alcoholism) that Top 7 lists are easy and a staple of the actual Barney Show. Some things you need to know why I’m writing this. I’m at work at 1:45 on a Saturday. This is my 13th consecutive day working. Most of them have been 12+ hour days. You figure it out. I’m also working with idiots. I had to do a diagram the other day to explain the complicated process of 400 + 350 = 750. I had print outs and everything. So without further adu, I present the Top 7 Reasons I’m Pissed Off:

7. Their idea of lunch is what can best be described as gazpacho. Yes, someone really made what I think is gazpacho and brought it into work to be a communal lunch.
6. They’ve blocked fantasy football websites on the office’s network. If one of my neighbors wi fi isn’t accessible when I get home, I’m stuck with Clinton Portis at running back (nothing against my man, but its tough to put up stats when you have a bye week).
5. Notre Dame is currently down 23 to fucking zero.
4. I just calculated that my company got $5600 profit off of my services this week (you read that right, profit, not revenue. Revenue was over $11,000. I can draw a diagram for you if you want). This company pays me approximately $1000 a week before taxes. I think I’m getting fucked.
3. I just did another calculation and figured out that based on the hours I’ve been working, I was making more money per hour five years ago refereeing 8 years playing basketball.
2. I got into the office at 9 this morning. Most of my clients decided to sleep in and didn’t get in until noon on the one weekend a year that they work.
1. Fucking gazpacho. Who does that?

And since its 3:37 and I’m still at work, let’s give you 7 more reasons I’m pissed:
7. I can’t get into our system. It’s kind of hard to help people when your system just crashed.
6. Traffic going home is going to be a mess. There was a triathlon of some sort this morning and they shut down most of the roads in DC. This would have been nice if you know, someone had said something about this. I read two papers yesterday and there was not one mention of this triathlon. That would have helped.
5. The gospel music someone in the office is playing.
4. Apparently bringing your kids to work is productive. Having them run around the office is even more productive. At least my dad had the good sense to make me file some shit for him and pay me $2 at the end of the day. Made me feel like I accomplished something and he didn’t have to spend a minute in the file room. Kids today have no work ethic.
3. I can’t get drunk immediately upon arriving. Some one from work left they’re power cord to their laptop at the office and since I’m the one who’s nearest to him, I was nominated to take it and he’ll stop by and pick it up. FUCK.
2. The fucking gazpacho smell is still prevalent.
1. I went out to get food that wasn’t gazpacho and walked right into a war protest march that consisted of a bunch of white people yelling “Fight the Power.” The irony that they were escorted by police on their permit approved parade route while doing so was lost on them. You can't fight the power when its escorting you. Fucking liberal douchebags.