Curtis Blows

You like that? That’s what I call a play on words. Get is Curtis Blows? HAHAHA I crack myself up sometimes. And I’m writing this sober. Anyway, this episode is to discuss the media driven rivalry between Kanye and 50. When I first told K-Dog about my intentions to write a blog, he said that rappers should be careful not to do anything stupid (that and to avoid the n-word (this was right around the time of the Imus fiasco)). Well, so far, I haven’t really gotten on rappers too much despite their best intentions. Granted, a lot of people have been acting a fool in the sports world, so that has kept me busy. That and 60 hour work weeks.
If you have to ask who won this, congratulations, you’re an idiot. Kanye beats 50 like me against anyone else in the 170-200 pound bracket in a 7 day drink off. Not only did he outsell Fitty, but he also made a far superior album. Kanye’s isn’t a great album (in fact I think its third out of his three albums), but it’s solid. Kanye has a handful of bangers, a few other listenable ones and one which I have a hard time forgiving him for (Why do you have to make fun of drunk and hot girls, Kanye? You do know that’s my MO when I go out. Probably more of the former than the later, but still. Granted, I know having annoying drunk girls in your car sucks monkey balls. But, don’t do this to me Ye. I’m going to have this going through my head a lot when I go out. And I’ll laugh. Then they’ll ask, ‘what are you laughing at?’ and I’ll either have to pretend I didn’t hear them, or tell them they can’t sing. Like I need another thing hampering me in getting some).
Curtis, on the other hand accomplishes something I didn’t think it could do: be worse than what I expected. I had higher expectations for the Cleveland Browns this year than this album and couldn’t even put 51 up on the Bengals once. There are a few listenable songs, and the rest are pure basura. The beats weren’t even good. And the few that were his lyrics just awful. My personal favorite was, “I call a circle a circle/a square a square.” Congratulations, sir. You have successfully learned what we are trying to teach my daughter who’s all of 19 months.
50’s turned into the Vince Carter of rap. Yeah, he was hot, but now he’s just coasting off that rep, and expecting to be called great. And looking back, I’m not sure he was that great or just hyped incredibly. (Though could you imagine if Vince got shot 9 times? You might hear his cries 15 miles away. 50 claims to not walk with a limp, but you can be damned sure Vince would. He’d probably just become addicted to morphine.)
What’s most troubling to me is the release date. I’m not even mentioning the fact that it was 9/11 (Do we have time for my rap/9/-11 story? If you’ve made it this far I’m assuming you really have nothing to do with your life. So I’ll tell it. After the first plane hit the towers and woke me up, I assumed it was construction going on outside my dorm. I woke up and what song did I put on? That’s right Juicy. The one that goes, “Time to get paid/blow up like the World Trade.” Also, if the attacks had happened 2 hours later, I probably would have been in NYC while it happened. I was planning on heading into the city to pick up The Blueprint on its first day out after my physics class (probably the first time that’s ever been said). Which leads me to my point.) (Wait there’s a point in all of this? I wasn’t prepared for a point here. I thought Barney was just going to talk about how Kanye has destroyed his target audience at bars with the hotness debatable and to set records for most overuse of parenthesis). Shut up remaining parts of my brain. I do have a point. If 50 and Kanye weren’t going to acknowledge that they released it on the anniversary of the biggest tragedy of either of their lifetimes, they could have at least had the common courtesy to acknowledge that they released it on the anniversary of the last classic commercially viable album, which I imagine they were hoping from their releases. The Blueprint came out 6 years before this so called sales war and it wasn’t even mentioned. I don’t know, maybe I’m just tired of the rap game in general and miss good albums. Alright, there’s my point. I’ll go back to bitching about Jon Kitna soon.
I’m going to try and put up more episodes. Writing these on the train might be the only thing that can keep me awake. I fell asleep on the train this morning and woke up 15 minutes beyond my stop. I would have been late for work, if my job didn’t require me to be in an hour before anyone else and leave 2 hours after them.