Barney's Birthday

So Thursday was my birthday. We celebrated the only way I know how…classy (and with a lot of alcohol). Thursday’s celebration was postponed because of food poisoning. Probably not a bad thing since we were going to Dogfish, with its 9%+ beer. That might not have ended well. Not that Friday’s was a walk in the park. The highlights:

- Drinking 2 Guinness at my desk while waiting for someone to get off work. I really don’t care anymore (about work that is).
- Getting to the bar and having 13 drinks in two and a half hours (I know this is correct because I saved the receipt, you know, for recollection purposes. 9 Jameson’s on the rocks is a lot. That’s probably why the next few paragraphs happened).
- Falling off my bar stool at another bar. Definitely not the high point of my life.
- Going to a bar called Rumors which set off a bunch of texts to Floyd Banks, letting him know that I was tired of these rumors and being followed. (Yes I know, another Lindsay Lohan reference. Floyd Banks used to bump Lindsay’s first single, “Rumors” pretty much every Friday night in college. Fortunately, that joke never got old.)
- Realizing that I’ve lost my ability to dance. I used to be able to dance somewhat in college. I’ve now turned into Carlton Banks doing the Tom Jones song. I don’t know how I lost this but I’m awful now. Needing at least a BAC of .20 to start dancing might have something to do with it though.
- And how did my night end? Anyone who had, “Waking up in a parking garage at 3:15 in the morning” in the pool, you win. Wait, no one had that? Ok, guess we just put add it to the next pot. Seriously though, I have no idea how I ended up here and how long I was in that parking garage. I don’t think it was that long because I woke up standing up. I did have dirt on my pants though. I’m also glad I came to at 3:15 since it’s not like the metro closes at 3 or anything like that. I enjoy having to make decisions like, “Do I pay $60 for a cab home or sleep in some bushes?” For the record, the $60 cab ride was the selection, but the bushes got some serious consideration. If anyone has any other ideas on what happened between 12:30 and 3:15 am, I’d love to know.

And on that note, time to start getting my New Year’s plans together. I think waking up on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial would be a good way to start the year off. Either that or maybe rehab.