Weekend Musings

Here’s a piece of advice for all you out there in internet land (if you’ve come to this site by accident after googling “advice”, please do not listen. This should be the last place you come for advice. And yet, I digress): if someone asks you to do recommendations to grad school, politely say no, then pull the fire alarm and run. I spent three hours this weekend writing about this girl’s strengths, weaknesses, etc. By the time I got to the fourth application I was seriously contemplating writing, “One of Girl A’s greatest talents is her ability to perform fellatio. She shows tremendous enthusiasm for performing the act, and has no gag reflex.” You know, just to see if people actually read these things. (Not that I’d know or anything. But I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t looked for diversions from doing work and played the “Which of the 5 women I’m currently working with would give the best head” game, if only to keep myself from kidney punching myself because I somehow get paid less than all of them yet do more work.) I kind of feel sorry for her because the rest of her life could be determined by what I write in a recommendation. Because if you can’t tell by now, you will know by the end of this episode that the less I write, the better for all of mankind (Though I do enjoy how I was able to write about a blow job in professional speak.).

You know what sucks about living in ACC country? ESPN doesn’t broadcast their tournament for some reason. I’m stuck watching it on MY CW or something like that. Plus: No Dick Vitale. Minus: No Erin Andrews. Will this be it for Erin until football season? I hope not. (As a blogger, I’m contractually obligated to have a crush on Erin Andrews. I figured I’d get that out of the way early.)
Alright, this is ridiculous. The sideline reporter I’m watching is Jason Caple. Yes, the Jason Caple who sucked continuously for UNC. Why don’t you brick another three you prick? At least Jeff is now coaching at Oklahoma. I think 1 vs. 16 matchups are closer than Andrews vs. Caple in sideline reporting.

This gets the Barney Show stamp of approval: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z58d25so0LU
I’m pissed I didn’t think of this. 10 for the idea, 7 for the execution. I would have liked to see Pacman worked in some more.

Joining the list of products I’d endorse, because I believe in them (joining Jack Daniels, Jameson, Guinness, Nike and Under Armor): Gatorade’s invigorating water. A sports beverage with caffeine in it? Just what I was looking for.

Has anyone ever figured out why McDonald’s stops serving breakfast at 10:30? Does anyone really want a burger at 10:45? This makes no sense to me.

I finally got around to seeing Hustle & Flow this weekend. Great movie. Plus, Anthony Anderson gave me my philosophy in life. I’m thinking of posting this next to my desk and telling my co-workers to go fuck themselves:
“There are two types of people, those that talk the talk, and those that walk the walk. People that walk the walk, they sometimes talk the talk. But most of the time they don’t talk it ‘cause they walk it. Now people who talk the talk, when it comes time for them to walk, you wanna know what they do? They talk people like me into walking for them.”
A white collar worker finding his motto in a movie about a Southern pimp trying to get a rap deal? Yep, I’m as surprised as you. I’m actually thinking of e-mailing this to my dad Monday morning. He’ll appreciate it.

You wanna know who can’t schedule anything? This guy. I’m flying to Texas Thursday night. I did not realize that this was the first day of the Tournament when I booked it. So the night games on Thursday are a wash for me. And this afternoon, I just realized I booked myself for the NFL Draft. Fuck. Granted, it is to do an all day drinkathon, starting at 9 am, but still. I’m embarrassed for myself.

I’ll go into the Tournament some more later this week, but when they revealed the USC-Kansas State matchup, I was visibly excited. In the words of Nasty Nate, “How about this matchup?”

Fuck, I just realized Billy Packer will be heavily involved in the next three weeks of my life.

And the official player of the Barney Show, Eric Maynor from VCU, is out. My endorsement can do that to you. And on that note, I’ll end this weekend.