The Pacers? Really, an Episode about the Pacers?

Yes, this will mostly about the Pacers. It's time to do an update to the Barney standings in the NBA. Specifically, two major improvements to two teams in the Central. We’ll start with the team that went out and made a major trade to improve the Barnyness (Is that even a word? I’m guessing no) of their team: the Cavs.
Most people focused on Ben Wallace in this trade (You do have the potential for siblings brawling in the stands. I’ll give you that). I focused on Delonte West. The boy is gully. He immediately scored points for the Cavs before he even stepped on the floor. Him in the suite with Wally Sczwrbrsziakawak… was priceless because he was wearing a pretty nice suit…with a neck tat sticking out. Since then I’ve found out that he has another tat that says “G Code”. I also seem to remember him saying that he takes all his dates to Popeye’s chicken. Get the boy a record deal ASAP. He has keeping it real down pat. And you know what that means…there will be a ‘When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong’ part in his career.

Alright, now onto the team that has improved internally, but I’m really not sure how much they’ve gone up in the Barney Standings. The Pacers were in the middle of the pack in the East based on Jamal Tinsley alone. Within the past two weeks, someone was accused of rape at Marquis Daniels house and someone was arrested for murder while driving Shawne Williams’ car. Both players have been exonerated of all charges, but still. Rape and murder? That’s taking it a little too far. And this is coming from someone who’s made numerous dog fighting jokes. I haven’t decided if this helps or hurts them. I guess it depends on if I can start picturing their locker room with entourages filled with thugs meeting up with Mike Dunleavy Jr. after the game and giving him a pound.

And how about the Pacers falling off so quickly? I think we’re 10 years away from the first book about how the Palace Brawl jinxed the franchise (you heard it here first folks). People forget, but the reason that brawl started in the first place was Ben Wallace was frustrated that the Pacers were thumping them at home. And the Pistons went to Game 7 of the finals that year. Indiana was clearly the best team in the East up until that point. Since then, Ron Ron was traded, Stephen Jackson has shot up a strip club and found redemption is Oakland, Jermaine O’Neal has fallen off the face of the earth, Jamal Tinsley has been shot at and these two recent incidents. Hell, Scott Pollard even got in the act when he told a TV camera, “Do drugs, kids.” They’ve basically become the new Trailblazers without the moronic parts. In fact, that gives me an idea. I’ll do some research, and we’re doing a tale of the tape of them versus the Jail Blazers. Thanks Brain. You’re still productive sometimes.