Outside the Lines - Basketball Concussions

Hi, I’m Bob Ley. This week on Outside the Lines we look at the rising rate of concussions in basketball. Once confined to contact sports such as boxing, football and hockey, we are now seeing a rise in concussions in basketball. Just last week Gerald Wallace of the Charlotte Bobcats sustained a grade 3 concussion after taking an accidental elbow against the Sacramento Kings. This represents Wallace’s 4th concussion in his career. Could this be because of his playing style, which Wikipedia describes as “energetic and dangerous?” Is the NBA facing a health crisis for its players? Did wikipedia steal my description of the eastern European hooker I had last night and apply it to a Bobcat small forward? We’ll discuss this and more on today’s edition of Outside the Lines.
(Cut to OTL introduction)
Doctors say athletes who sustain three or more concussions during their careers are 20% more likely to experience depression and more than 50% more likely to experience issues with cognitive functions than the general population later in life. Today’s guests will discuss these issues and more. Our panel today is Wayne Chrebet, a former wide receiver for the New York Jets, TJ Ford, point guard for the Toronto Raptors, and a West End resident known simply as Barney.

Ley: Let’s start with you Wayne. You were forced to retire from the Jets because of concussions. What are some of the effects that are still with you?
Wayne: Well Mr. TV camera, I have an irresistible urge to consume packets of McDonald’s ketchup.
L: Has that been diagnosed by doctors?
W: Yes. Apparently I’m living a double life as the Hamburgular.
L: (confused) Really?
W: Yes. I’m the Hamburgular, Curtis Martin is Grimace, Herm Edwards is Mayor McCheese and Vinny Testeverde is Ronald McDonald. We all meet at the McDonald’s on Hempstead Turnpike every Thursday to reminisce about the old days: When McDonald’s used cartoon characters to sell cheeseburgers instead of “I’m lovin’ it”. (Holds up a photo of the Hamburgular, Grimace, Mayor McCheese and Ronald McDonald with their heads clearly photo shopped. I like that Wayne had the good sense to photo shop in a picture of Herm confused. Maybe he’s looking at a clock or possibly the internet.)
L: Ok, thanks Wayne. Best of luck getting McDonalds to change their national advertising campaign.
W: Rubble, rubble, rubble.
Ley: On to our next guest, TJ Ford. Now TJ, you’ve never sustained a concussion, but you’ve set a record for most neck injuries in NBA history. What do you attribute that to?TJ: Thanks Bob. Great to be here. I’d attribute my record to the fact that I was the 5th pick in the draft despite the fact that the average person would confuse me with Lil’ Bow Wow.
L: You got that right. I was almost looking around for Omarion in the background. Is there anything you regret about your injuries?TJ: Not really. Except that Al Horford had to injure me. If it had to have been a Florida Gator injure me, I would have preferred it have been Joakim Noah, because it would have given America one more reason to hate him.
L: Thanks for your time, TJ. We need to go to commercial. We’ll be right back with more on concussions and basketball.

Ley: We’re back here on Outside the Lines discussing the rise of concussions in basketball. We’re now joined by the only basketball player who had his career ended by concussions. Mr. Barney, how are you this morning?
Barney: I’m fine Bob. Thanks for having me.
L: Is that a glass of scotch in your hand?B: Why yes it is Bob.
L: It’s 10 in the morning.
B: Actually Bob, I’m in Spain right now, so it’s actually 3 PM.
L: So you’re telling me the Outside the Lines crew went through the effort to put up a background of the Washington DC skyline when you’re actually in Spain?
B: Alright, you burned me. Let’s talk about concussions.
L: Good idea. I’m already worried where this will go. Can you tell us how you sustained your concussions? It doesn’t seem like concussions are a part of basketball.
B: Sure Bob. My first one, I deflected a pass in transition. As I went to chase it down, I ran face first into the shoulder of a big man who was heading to the blocks. The second one was during a rebounding drill. A teammate who thought that he was tough got thrown by another teammate who resembled Greg Ostertag. As I turned my head to locate the ball after a great box out, tough guys head went directly into my nose. My nose was broken on that play.
L: Ouch.
B: That wasn’t the last one Bob. My third occurred either taking a charge or an elbow. I sustained both within about 30 seconds of playing time. It’s really a toss up in my mind. My last one was in a gym with 3 feet from the baseline and a wall. I fouled a ginger kid hard and my momentum took me into the wall where I sustained a concussion from the whiplash.
L: And when did these occur?
B: The first one was in 2000. The second, third and fourth occurred between November 2003 and February 2004.
L: Wow. Three in three months. That can’t be good.
B: No Bob it wasn’t. After the last one, I had post concussion syndrome for three months.
L: What was that like?B: I was sensitive to light. Headaches, nausea, dizziness. Oh, and poor decisions. It was during this time period that I hooked up with a red headed virgin who had a lisp.
L: That’s alright. Charlie Steiner used to do that all the time.
B: Good to know. I also had some issues with my balance. I couldn’t stand on one leg for awhile.
L: So why did you retire?B: Well, my neurologist pretty much made me. It was either that or wear a helmet. I don’t even think that’s legal.
L: No, we had Roger Cossack take a look into that and it’s not. So I’m assuming you had to leave games.
B: Fuck no Bob. I finished the game after my first one. I was out of practice for the second one, but only because my nose was broken and I wouldn’t stop bleeding unless I had tampons in my nostrils. The third one I actually played another 10 minutes, had 2 threes and was about to check back in for the final 7 minutes until I made the poor decision of talking to an assistant coach. Since I sounded high as hell, he didn’t let me go back in. On my final one, I played the remaining 2 minutes of the game and then collapsed in the bathroom afterwards. So my point here is that Tomlinson is a pussy because he couldn’t even play with a sprained knee in the AFC Championship game.
L: You said you worked with a neurologist. Did they give any reasons as to why you sustained all these concussions? Were you more susceptible than others?B: Well, for every concussion you get, its easier to sustain another one. My neurologist said that I was predisposed to concussions because of my small head. He actually took out a tape measure and was amazed. I then mentioned to him that my brother once gave me a cantaloupe with two googly eyes glued on with a sign that said “I’m Barney” as a gag gift. The neurologist then took my case a lot more seriously.
L: Are there any lingering effects?B: Speech is a big issue for me. For a few months after the last one, I was talking like I was punch drunk.
L: Just punch drunk?
B: Well, I was just plain drunk a lot of the time as well. But when I was sober, I was slurring things left and right. Even today, I cross up words when I have to think on the fly. If I’m talking about something I know, like spreadsheet, I’m fine. If I have to do anything that requires analysis or when I’m unsure of something, I turn into the skinny kid from Superbad.
L: Any regrets?
B: Lots Bob. Mostly that my career ending injury occurred in the Bronx and not in Philadelphia. It would have been nice to have my last athletic moment being booed.
L: Any advice for Gerald Wallace?B: Fall back on your education.
L: He spent one year at Alabama.
B: Jeez, Forrest Gump has a better education than him. Well, I hope Gerald had some sound financial advice and diversified his bonds.
L: Well Barney, that’s about all the time we have. Thanks for coming on. Hopefully you can get your brain and liver back before you end up dead on a street corner somewhere. Stay tuned for SportCenter. Josh Elliot investigates the emerging drug smuggling scandal engulfing the Duke basketball program and Bobby Knight makes his debut. I have next Tuesday as the day he fights Dickie V to the death in the ESPN office pool. Have a good Sunday everybody.