Ok, we’ll get to that title in a bit. But let’s get to some of the highlights from my trip back to the West End for Thanksgiving. Another trip home, another intervention avoided. That’s pretty much my one goal for these things, to not have my family surround me and tell me they think I have a problem.
Glad I came home in the end of November and the best we can do is have lukewarm water for the shower. That really made shaving quite fun.
I think my parents are officially old. Not only do they not get around as well as they use to, but they’re starting to do things like collecting dimes in their car. Not change. Just dimes. For no reason. That’s completely normal.
Not that I’m one to talk about normal behavior. I drove up starting at 4 am on Thanksgiving morning, walked in the door and went on a 4-5 mile run. Then proceeded to start drinking…and I didn’t stop until Saturday night. But the run made me seem like I somehow had my shit together. I think that’s what kept the intervention from happening.
Thank you Delaware for once again reconfirming your spot as worst state in the nation. It took me two hours to drive the 15 miles through your shitty state.
So why am I now going by the name “Pancake”? Well, if Beyonce can start giving herself a nickname, why can’t I? Oh right, she has multiple grammys, movies, is married to Jay-Z. I’m just a simple IT consultant with a rambling blog. I guess I don’t really have a right to expect this to catch on. Anyway, here’s how it happened:
Barney: “You know what we need? Someone in our crew named Pancake.”
J-Man: (pause) “It’s not going to be me.”
Barney: (looks around, see’s no one else) “Fuck. I guess that’s me then.”
So just add another nickname to the list.
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5 comments:
I can't believe you decided to give yourself the name Pancake. I am both insulted and disappointed.
Oh we both agreed you would be a much better Pancake than me. If you want to take it, it's all yours
IDK Barnes, it works on so many levels. You're starting to look like a pancake. (Says the fattest member of the audience.) It's main two letters are the initials of one of your college nicknames. (PanCake vs. P-Cann) Your Rooty-Tooty-Fresh-And-Frooty order at IHOP a couple years ago. (Highest of high comedy, especially when the fat waiter looked jealous, then asked you strawberry or blueberry) And I want to have somone to call pancake too goddamnit...so I hereby second the motion to call you pancake.
PS - Since you're Chest and I'm Brock, does you being pancake make me Waffles, Sausage or Boisenberry?
I can see it now, introducing ourseleves. "This is Pancake and my name is Sausage...no homo."
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