The Day the Jets Died

Seriously, I don’t even know why I still follow the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets anymore. I feel like slamming my head against a wall until I get that sweet, sweet, concussion feeling again. That’ll make me forget the past four weeks. I promised I wasn’t going to get too excited anymore. They’ve just blown it in the past. Somehow, after the Patriots and Titans wins, I got suckered in again. It was so bad that yesterday I couldn’t even keep the tv on. I shut it off at halftime because I didn’t want to endure the hour and a half of torture. So around 7 pm, I turned it on to see the score…and then commenced to drink heavily.

To be complete honest, this might be better than the alternative of them getting some momentum, only to be beaten by the Steelers in a 2-3 seed matchup. That would have been a lot more painful to me. I would probably turn my phone off for about two weeks.

The one positive though, is that I’ve been right about the two main transactions over this off season, Favre and Vernon Gholston. When the Jets signed Favre, everyone congratulated me like the Jets were Super Bowl bound or something. I was skeptical of this trade to say the least (In fact, I got a text message at 8:15 the morning after he was signed and audibly shouted “Fuck” on the metro.) Everyone assumed that they’d be getting the Favre of last year, when the more likely result would be the Favre that sucked the past four before that. And that Favre has returned the past four weeks. Gholston on the other hand has been more worthless than…I can’t even think of the proper metaphor for it right now. Guess how many tackles he has this year? 12. Twelve fucking tackles all year, that’s all you need to know. And you wondered why I nearly lost my shit when the Jets picked him 6th last year. In the immortal words of Mel Kiper Jr, "The Jets simply don't understand the point of the draft."

Making this even worse is the fact that Chad Pennington will get votes for MVP this season. So they downgraded at that position (Sure, I made Chad jokes all the time. But I never thought he couldn’t get the job done. He was just injured that’s all.) and at the same time, jerked around one of the classiest guys in the league (He was on Page 6 once by my count. And that was because he spent all night in the hospital taking care of his kid. How that made Page 6 is beyond me.). Well done, Jets.

Well, at least there’s the offseason to look forward to. Oh wait, no its not. There will be six weeks (at least) of Favre going back and forth if he’s going to retire. And no signings are going to be done until that’s decided. My new goal is to get them to blow this whole thing up, and hire Cowher for however much he wants.
Being a Jets fan is kind of like being Scratchy. Every time you think things are going to turn out just fine. And then that’s the moment Itchy unleashes a closet full of chainsaws on you. Each year, it’s a different way of painfully dying, but the end result is the same. The only difference is this year, we have Brett Favre, aka, Poochie. Well, my only hope is that someone tells Brett his planet needs him and he has to return.