This Sucks

“I’m back like spine” – Fabolous

Sorry to start this episode off like that, but whatever. That simile was so awful I nearly crashed my car the first time I heard it on Hot 97. It would have been fun to explain to a cop that Fabolous cause this wreck. Then correcting the spelling, “No, no it F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S.” Anyway, I’m back from my ridiculous work schedule and can write some stuff. Not that I’m excited to write about this stuff. Things have been bad lately in Barney land. When I’m not working 12 hour days, I’ve been getting more and more pissed at things.
First, let’s talk about Michael Vick. This thing is getting out of control. In the words of the immortal Clinton Portis (who will be the star of The Barney Show come the fall), “It’s just dogs fighting.” The NFL already has two people involved in the deaths of other people (Ray Lewis and Leonard Little) and have a third that was involved in another person’s paralysis. So everyone needs to get off their high horse and realize that you have no problem celebrating the first two and the third is currently a national punchline (Pacman) while another person is in a wheelchair. I never saw any adverbs used to describe these actions as bad as they’re using with Vick. So apparently, the lives of dogs are more important that those of humans. Must have missed that memo. I’m not saying what he did wasn’t wrong, just that this should not be on the floor of Congress and that we need to get our priorities straight.
When the indictment came down, the first thing I texted Brock was “Vick got indicted, what a dumbass.” I never said, “his actions are disgusting,” or “what horrors.” No, just that he’s a dumbass for getting himself into this situation. Now PETA is making him out to be the worst human in the world. Once again, I’m not condoning what he did, just that way too much has been made out of it.
Because of this, we won’t get to make the hour long special, “The Vick Brothers 10 Stupidest Actions.” I was looking forward to making a guest appearance and just use the line, “That’s not in the playbook, but it should be.” “Weed in a water bottle, that’s not in the playbook, but it should be.” “After reviewing the playbook, giving vodka to underage girls is in the playbook. I’ve used it before.” Now this will never happen.
I’m already at the point where we I just want this trial to be over so we can go back to football. If he’s guilty, fine, give him his jail time and suspend him. If not, let him play. Either way, I’m dreading another 4 months of this being the lead story on Sportscenter.
Also, where was the outrage when Qyntel Woods was arrested for the same thing…Oh that’s right, I’m the only person in America who had an active interest in Qyntel freakin’ Woods.
As for the other disaster this weekend, the NBA ref, I’m legitimately depressed to think about it. I first heard it on the radio coming to work on ESPN radio. They started the sentence with “The FBI is investigating NBA…” at this point, I’m assuming someone’s running a drug ring with their salary or something like that. I’m getting ready to make a Zach Randolph joke or something. When they dropped the hammer, my first reaction was to say, “Wow” like 4 times. Then I turned a corner to go over a bridge, and the Presidents helicopter appeared out of nowhere like 20 feet above my car. I’ll be honest, the ref thing jarred me more.
The biggest issue I’ve had with the NBA recently is the integrity of the refs. There have been too many games where it seems like the refs go with the team that the league has an interest in. I was telling my dad there would be nights in college where I had the choice to either watch a playoff game or head out to the bar. It got to the point where I would want to stay and watch the game, but would decide, “Fuck it, the league’s not letting (Insert Team A here) lose tonight, I’ll just catch the highlights.” I think the one time this didn’t work out was when San Antonio beat LA in 2003 in game 6 at LA (the one where Kobe cried afterwards) and that’s because San Antonio destroyed them enough that the refs didn’t matter. So if I’m basically writing off a game as a waste of time because of the officials, the NBA might have a problem (or maybe I have a drinking problem. A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.)
Now, I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’m currently on the fence if I can watch the league anymore. I’m that distraught over this. Its not what this one ref did, it’s A) how the NBA wasn’t able to figure this out before the feds and B) that the NBA might have known about the investigation and still let him ref. I don’t know which pisses me off more. I also seems that NBA fans are actually happy this occurred, because there can now be drastic changes to the referee system which obviously wasn’t working. I’m glad it took the integrity of the game to make this change. I’m too pissed to talk about this anymore.