Uh Oh

Yup, we’re one week away from what could be considered my worst nightmare…Philly vs. Pittsburgh in the Super Bowl. I don’t think I’m mentally prepared to deal with those two fan bases for two full weeks. And that ensures that at least one of them will be champs. If Philly wins the World Series and Super Bowl back to back I’m heading into a bunker for six months.

On the plus side, we would have Andy Reid doing interviews with a five week beard going. That should be fun. And hopefully some retrospectives of McNabb puking.

I wanted to write this last week, but I’m on the Arizona bandwagon for the sole reason that after Rolle scored that touchdown after the Turner fumble, he did the Dirty Bird after scoring. New rules: Anyone would does a tribute to 1998 dances gets my support.

Well, the alternative Super Bowl matchup isn’t much better. Ray Lewis’s God Squad versus Kurt Warner’s God Squad. Maybe if we’re lucky, both games will end in a tie and Donavan McNabb will be totally redeemed. But at least its not the nuclear option of Colts vs. Giants. A Manning vs. Manning Super Bowl would cause me to commit at least one homicide (Can you tell I’m a half empty glass type of person? Did the fact that I’m only focusing on bad Super Bowl matchups give that away?).

It’s ok to make Eli jokes now, right? Ok, good, just checking. Here we go. On the plus side, Eli won’t be distracted for next week’s epic showdown with the Williams sisters in their Oreo Racer matchup. Man, does it feel good to make a good Eli joke. I’d been holding off since he proved to be clutch in a playoff game last year. Now, I think it’s back to open season on the Mannings. They’re like the Arizona Wildcats of the NFL. They both had their Miles Simon run in them, and now they’re Lute Olsen getting upset way to early again (and yes, I’m trying to make as many 1998 references as possible in this).

I think I can state this definitively: The Ravens are the only team to ever go to the Conference Championships in my lifetime while having white kickoff and punt returners. See, that’s the type of in depth analysis you only get here on the Barney Show.

Alright, work time. Pray for me in the town that is being turned into Pittsburgh Southeast for the foreseeable future.