So I need an idea for a Halloween costume. I’m just throwing ideas out off the top of my head. Obviously, the best Halloween costume you can ever do is Rick James. I don’t even think this is debatable (you get to say “The milk’s gone bad.” That alone would make it worthwhile). But I don’t think I can pull that off. If you have anything better and easy (hint: I highly doubt I will be making shit. That’s just not how I roll.), feel free to mention it. Somehow I have a feeling I’m going to go as something that like 1 person gets. Oh well. I’ve gone a Ron Artest before the Palace brawl. I know that feeling.
Michael Vick - I already have his VA Tech jersey, so it would be a really cheap one. Just buy a head band and write "Bad Newz Kennels" on the front and a dog chain and I'm set to go. But is this too last year? Also, will I have PETA lovers on my ass all night? I feel I have to do this at least once to justify keeping a Vick jersey in my closet.
Jack Daniels - I would pretty much just need to buy a beard and a top hat. Another easy one. But J Man was Johnnie Walker last year, so I might be stealing his bit.
Pacman Jones - Can you imagine how much fun this would be? Just bring a bunch of monopoly money and throw it around. Also, I would work on making a Pacman chain as well. The downside is I'd have to pay $80 for a jersey and I might actually die if I went as him.
Duffman - Another great idea, but if there's anything that defines me for Halloween, its laziness. I will not be making my own. This is a long shot.
Matt Leinhert - Pretty much the same issues I have with Pacman, but I wear a headset and carry around a clipboard. On the plus side, I probably could get college girls to do beer bongs.
Silky Johnston/Buck Wild – Another one that will take some effort on my part (unfortunately, I don’t own a royal blue suit), but might be worth it. I would love to tell someone her breasts look “like Afghanistan: bombed out and depleted.” Plus I don’t really think I would have to act much to pull this off. This is pretty much the standard operating procedure for drunk Barney here. This would just be more classy.
If I think of any more, I’ll put them up. Let me know what you think. Because if there’s one group of people who I can count on to help me in my time of need, it’s readers of a blog that’s all about drinking stories and I’ll conceived sports/rap references in poor sentence structure. I expect nothing but the best.
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I'll so join you as one of the player haters for the night. Mi Amor is going to see the fucking BackStreet Boys - AGAIN! - that night, so the Dr. Ego, MDM will be free to roam the streets, dress like a jackass and tell bitches they underwear has dickholes in it. The onliest catch is you gotta come to the tri-state area. I can't swing the VA trip for that one. Either that or we go as the Cheetah Girls....SHOTGUN RAVEN SYMONE!!!!
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