So I’m going to go into a conversation that only me and my dad could have. If you haven’t been following local Maryland politics (I can’t think of a reason you aren’t), but slots were legalized this election day. While this doesn’t sound that crazy, on my way home from work on Friday there were talking about the long term ramifications of it on sports radio. It could have a serious impact on Delaware’s slot machine business. They mentioned that a Wall Street analyst downgraded the stock of one of the Delaware tracks because of the competition with Maryland. The analyst also casually mentioned that the only way they could see Delaware overcoming this was…(wait for it)…legalized sports gambling. Luckily I was in bumper to bumper traffic and only going 15 MPH because I might have crashed the car. They also said the Delaware was exempt from the federal ban because it would be grandfathered in because it had a law that predated the federal ban. After I composed myself, I called my dad because this was such important news it couldn’t wait (I’m also the same person who received a call the second Qyntel Woods got activated, so maybe I’m not the best gauge for what constitutes something that needs to be discussed immediately). Here was our discussion:
Mom: Hi Barney, how are you?
Barney: Eh, same as usual. Is dad home?
Mom: (sighs) Yeah, let me get him.
Barney: So I just heard something interesting. Delaware may legalize sports gambling.
Dad: Well, I don’t think it can work. Sports books just can’t compete with the bookies. You figure you have to pay employees, pay taxes, and all of that. A bookie just doesn’t have any overhead.
Barney: That’s true. But first off, if Delaware has it legalized, you know Atlantic City is at least going to try to get it legalized. And if that happens then you can make money because you have the casino working for you. And casinos don’t lose money.
Dad: Yes, I’ll agree that Atlantic City with a sports book would work.
Barney: But for Delaware, I think it could also work. Even if you break even on the betting, you can still make a shit load of money by selling stuff there. Get the people in and then sell them $5 hot dogs while they watch the Sunday football games.
Dad: The big thing that Vegas has is the prop bets. After they figure out the percentages, they probably pad them by as much as 30%.
Barney and Dad, the definite authority on the business prospects of sports gambling in my least favorite state in the union (Yes, it is Delaware. Just for its 20 mile stretch of I-95 that always has traffic, and they charge a $5 toll for the right to sit in traffic. And since they have nothing positive to offset this, Delaware, you get the crown. (“The Simpsons are going to Delaware. I want to go to a screen door factory.”)
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2 comments:
Why should this be surprising to anyone, Barnes? Everytime I pass and OTB, I want to go in and call you for tips. You're also the man who gave us the story of the communist stripper. Why is legalized bookmaking in the 2nd littlest state of the union NOT in your realm of expertise? And I'd also like to point out that it was Delaware where I got stuck in traffic that year we all went to B'More and I was 4 hours late and you had to guess who at Camden Yards was my peoples. But you found them and found them quickly, so it mustn't have been too hard.
In summation, I'm right with you kid. Fuck D'Ware...until they legalize sports bookmaking.
Wait, I thought you were 4 hours late because your muffler fell off?
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