Once again, Wisconsin has screwed me. I’m in a survivor pool again this year, where you pick one winner per day in the tournament. The catch is that you can only pick a team once. Friday I went with Florida State on the basis that a 5/12 upset had already happened (Western Kentucky) and that I was betting against a Big 10 team, which is always a good idea. And what do you know, Wisconsin pulls off the upset in overtime. This followed up last year, when I picked Wisconsin on the Friday of the Sweet 16 games, only to have the Stephen Curry Show demolish them. That game was so bad, in the second half I just gave up rooting for Wisconsin because it was obvious they weren’t going to win and just enjoyed the show.
I wouldn’t say they’re at a Duke level of hatred just yet, but they’re getting there. So enjoy dancing to Jump Around after the third quarter at football games, your Ron Dayne Heisman trophy, and drinking beer and eating brats during tailgate, because you are now disliked by an anonymous blogger who has a readership of about 5 people. That’ll show you.
I’d also like to note that my favorite college, though they’re not in the tournament this year, is definitely Tech U. They have the best assistant coaches in the country.
And just for the hell of it, A-Rod and Hookers. Enjoy!
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/03/22/2009-0322_i_dated_arod_and_provided_him_hookers_cl.html
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
So umm…yeah. Haven’t written anything because to be honest, I haven’t really had much to write about. I would say I’ve hit a creative slump, but that would imply that I was creative at some point in my life, and I don’t think that’s true. But what will get me writing again? A random text message sent to me at 10:30 at night asking me to update my blog. So with that, I’m just going to put together some random stuff that I have on my mind, that alone wouldn’t be worth posting, but when their powers combine, they will be a semi-coherent episode.
If you’re like me, the first thing you thought when you saw D-Wade’s game on Monday night was, “Why does his jersey say, “El Heat”?” Never fear, after some exhausting research (i.e. 5 minutes of googling), I found out it was Noche Latina in Miami that night. Several teams with large Latin populations have been doing this lately and they’ve had their jerseys changed to reflect this, which for all intensive purposes has been to add “Los” or “El” to them. Why not actually do the translation, so that instead of Los Bulls, it’s Los Toros? Because after hiring a market research team, they “concluded that Spanish-speakers in the U.S. refer to them differently. The Miami Heat, for example, is called "El Heat"; the San Antonio Spurs are "Los Spurs." Noche Latina uniforms were carefully selected based on the uniforms that had the most affinity within the Hispanic population.” Really? They needed a market research team to tell them that? Why not just spend 5 minutes down at the bodega? You’ll get your answer as well as a pineapple or some other randomly flavored soda. With business practices like that, no wonder the NBA needed a $150 M loan from Bank of America (A quick side note. The Dow was up like 6% yesterday, mostly driven by the news that BoA had been profitable in January and February. It’s nice to know that the Pacers thinking Jermaine O’Neal is a max player is part of our economic recovery.)
If you’re not paying attention to Lane Kiffin at Tennessee, I suggest you start. Trust me on this. He’s been there two months and is already out-crazying the SEC.
On to celebrity gossip (Don’t get too comfortable with this. I don’t think we’ll be doing this too much here at the Barney Show), where Rihanna and Chris Brown are the big news. Does anyone else think this is getting a little bit ridiculous? I’m not going to say that domestic violence should be discounted (I’m a firm believer in the Chris Rock policy: “I won’t hit a woman, but I’ll shake the shit out of her”), but really we don’t have anything better to talk about? I for one am taking a positive out of this. The next generation of rappers now have a new metaphor to replace “beating motherfuckers like Ike beat Tina”. I’ll pretty much do anything to improve the lyrical content at this point. Another one who’s taking a positive out of this is Robin Givens, who is now dispensing wisdom about domestic abuse. No one has yet asked her, “The F you think would happen marrying Mike Tyson?” Any news organization that does so will have my unrequited love.
Here is a fantastic New York Post Headline:
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03112009/news/regionalnews/stripper_tax_is_hard_to_bare_158991.htm
You don’t get wittiness like that in the Daily News, which is why they’re on the brink of going out of business. As for the last statement about news organizations, you’ll have to settle for being my mistress because my love for the New York Post is too great.
Remember when Brock told the story of when he asked Freshman Barney how his night ended with a female companion and he answered, “I passed out.” Well, Saturday night the same thing happened except add “…in a bush behind a bank” to the previous statement to be more accurate. I would provide more details, except I don’t remember them.
Yeah, so that’s it. Conclusions are overrated.
If you’re like me, the first thing you thought when you saw D-Wade’s game on Monday night was, “Why does his jersey say, “El Heat”?” Never fear, after some exhausting research (i.e. 5 minutes of googling), I found out it was Noche Latina in Miami that night. Several teams with large Latin populations have been doing this lately and they’ve had their jerseys changed to reflect this, which for all intensive purposes has been to add “Los” or “El” to them. Why not actually do the translation, so that instead of Los Bulls, it’s Los Toros? Because after hiring a market research team, they “concluded that Spanish-speakers in the U.S. refer to them differently. The Miami Heat, for example, is called "El Heat"; the San Antonio Spurs are "Los Spurs." Noche Latina uniforms were carefully selected based on the uniforms that had the most affinity within the Hispanic population.” Really? They needed a market research team to tell them that? Why not just spend 5 minutes down at the bodega? You’ll get your answer as well as a pineapple or some other randomly flavored soda. With business practices like that, no wonder the NBA needed a $150 M loan from Bank of America (A quick side note. The Dow was up like 6% yesterday, mostly driven by the news that BoA had been profitable in January and February. It’s nice to know that the Pacers thinking Jermaine O’Neal is a max player is part of our economic recovery.)
If you’re not paying attention to Lane Kiffin at Tennessee, I suggest you start. Trust me on this. He’s been there two months and is already out-crazying the SEC.
On to celebrity gossip (Don’t get too comfortable with this. I don’t think we’ll be doing this too much here at the Barney Show), where Rihanna and Chris Brown are the big news. Does anyone else think this is getting a little bit ridiculous? I’m not going to say that domestic violence should be discounted (I’m a firm believer in the Chris Rock policy: “I won’t hit a woman, but I’ll shake the shit out of her”), but really we don’t have anything better to talk about? I for one am taking a positive out of this. The next generation of rappers now have a new metaphor to replace “beating motherfuckers like Ike beat Tina”. I’ll pretty much do anything to improve the lyrical content at this point. Another one who’s taking a positive out of this is Robin Givens, who is now dispensing wisdom about domestic abuse. No one has yet asked her, “The F you think would happen marrying Mike Tyson?” Any news organization that does so will have my unrequited love.
Here is a fantastic New York Post Headline:
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03112009/news/regionalnews/stripper_tax_is_hard_to_bare_158991.htm
You don’t get wittiness like that in the Daily News, which is why they’re on the brink of going out of business. As for the last statement about news organizations, you’ll have to settle for being my mistress because my love for the New York Post is too great.
Remember when Brock told the story of when he asked Freshman Barney how his night ended with a female companion and he answered, “I passed out.” Well, Saturday night the same thing happened except add “…in a bush behind a bank” to the previous statement to be more accurate. I would provide more details, except I don’t remember them.
Yeah, so that’s it. Conclusions are overrated.
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